I can still remember every detail of your face, the way you used to stare at me, your soft-spoken voice, and your heart-melting smile. Every bit of you is still hunting me. There was something about you that made me lose my breath and made my heart skip a beat. The way you looked at me before, it was different, sincere, honest and worthless. I like to think that you sometimes wonder about me, and that you also wished we could hang out again and just share stories about one another. But even if you don’t, it’s okay. You taught me more about life than anyone else, and in return, I can only hope that you know that I am still here for you no matter what. Even if we are not the same person we used to be before.
This is the most hurtful feeling I had felt as of now, and even if I deserve this, I still want to say sorry for everything. To be loved by you was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me and even though you are far away, even though we haven’t talked to each other for quite some time, no one and nothing can take away the memories we used to have. Even if you don’t feel the same, all this time, I have never stopped thinking about you. You are indeed always at the back of my mind, it seems like a part of my heart was really reserved for you. You will always be special to me. My mind keeps begging my heart to forget about you and my heart is pleading my mind not to think about you. If I could only have one thing in this world, it would be your love again. It would be all that I’ve ever needed. And this time, it would really be for keeps. Don’t ask how I knew. Sometimes you just have to trust your heart.
Maybe someday I will be falling out of love with you; maybe someday I will be able to forget you. Maybe this love will turn to that one who only hungers for friendship and companionship. In that time, things that didn’t work out will fall right into place. I hope that one day; we will be as close as we were before you left me. At the very least, I hope that we can be friends again. Our lives are very much different right now, and things are so different for you and for me. I know that in time, when we least expect it, our paths will just cross and by that time, I will be pushing the hurt, distrust, selfishness and insecurities aside. I will just look at you and smile to you wholeheartedly. I wish you joy, faith, peace, hope and love. Thank you and I will never forget you.
P.S. Even if you’re the only one who made me feel my happiest and also the only one who made me feel wretched, even if I still can’t get over you.. Come to think of it, I am so young to be mourning about something like this. I’ll only be young once and I shouldn’t spend my time thinking about what had happened if I have done this and that. I should be out; I should be enjoying this youthful time with my friends and enjoying my freedom because time is just too precious for me and for you.
*this was a note made by me weeks ago that was tagged to him (in facebook). this was the last words i had told him before i finally decided not to run after him ever again. we haven't communicated for a month now and i just want to share the note here.
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