Sunday, August 15, 2010

i just need more time okay.

It’s nearly 3 months since you left, and by now, I've already revisited most of the places we went to. Finally, I can walk around the mall(s) without wanting to throw up or cry, but not without some effort.
I walk around and remember how we used to walk these halls together, hand in hand. I walk further and I come across the bench where we used to sit and just talk and stare at each other, and a few minutes later (or so, it seemed), the mall’s getting ready to close.
I haven’t gotten around to visiting our favorite places, such as our favorite mall and favorite bar, but i might SOON! what worries me is that, I might find out that I’m just pretending to be strong and trying to be okay, and the walls I put up (with so much effort) might just be proven useless if I go to these places.
Maybe this is just me being paranoid. It’s not like I’m still expecting you to turn up at random places. If anything, I know that if I go somewhere — anywhere, I know you won’t be there. It seems that we’ve withdrawn from each other’s lives so much that, if not for the pictures taken of us together, I would have thought by now that you were just a figment of my imagination.
I don’t feel the hurt right now, but I do feel incomplete. I miss having a hand to hold whenever I reach out, someone to hug just because I want to, someone to kiss all day, just because…
A few more months, and I think I would just laugh about this. Well, not really, that’s just me being optimistic (weird). I hope I don’t run into you soon, though  I could not bear to see the look of apathy that will be in your eyes, while the walls, I spent precious tears to build for myself, will just crumble so easily around me.
If I ever see you again, I hope it’s when I don’t remember what we had anymore. by then, I can be sure that I'm strong enough to match that apathetic look on your eyes, say hi, smile and go my own way. I guess, it’s true that all it takes is time. In my case, MORE time…plenty plenty of TIME.
 *originally from justyeontsuj (tumblr)


  1. go girl! kaya mo yan.. unlike me.. hehe

  2. I'm sure you'll get over him. Break-ups are always hard, unless you're a stone-cold automaton.

  3. I could not agree more! You just need more time, indeed. :)

  4. my heart totally broke upon reading your blog.
    i could relate. but in time.. you will get over him and you will totally forget the details... perhaps that's God's technique to let us love again....

  5. awwwwww. keep yourself busy. you'll forget him in no time. :)